* * *
Gerald
* * *
I've got a bad feeling about this whole operation. I'm not too sure we're gonna make it.
Maybe it's the way the Peacock King looks right now, and the weird moans that are coming out of him. All I know is that I felt a weird sinking feeling just a minute ago that I almost mistook for the bird falling. Almost on top of that was a weird sense of satisfaction from my Arms that they won't explain and I don't have the time to pry out of them. I just don't feel like all is right with the world - and if I weren't soaring so far above the ground that I can see Audiva Rocale from here, I'd look into it. Now, though, I have the feeling that focusing on my job is best.
Focusing on my job is, for now, holding onto this damn bird and keeping an eye on the King in case he finally decides to kill my brother. That time may have just come. The Peacock King's eyes have been staring wide open for a minute now, and that bodes ill. I draw Wagner.
Lyric looks up at me with alarm, then gestures for me to put away the gun. I know he means well, but...
I holster Wagner, or more accurately, he holsters himself. Not now. Later.
Weird. He sounded a bit like Diyn there.
Oh, don't think he doesn't know, ye arrogant pup of an Akribastes. Jes' be thankful he's letting us take care of things for now. Don't screw this up.
Well that's... not exactly comforting, but I'll take it. I keep an eye on Lyric. He looks like he's going to do something dangerous, and in the middle of the air riding a bird that Patrick is steering is either the worst or best place to do something dangerous. I can't pick which.
* * *
Lyric
* * *
I'm afraid of him. Especially with his eyes open like that, and the way he keeps letting out those choked-off squeaks and moans. I'm just plain terrified of him.
So I go to him. It's the right thing to do. And no one else here can.
I have an idea of what kind of pain Ebrellin-i's going through. I remember how hurt he was when he attended Nul's Court, and how he danced through it anyway, and then shook with exhaustion when he finally returned to bed. Even beyond that, I can feel his pain. It's calling out to me, and I guess that's the most evidence of the fact that we still have a connection between us. I don't know if he let it happen by accident or if I innately wheedled it into existence, but it's there, and it's the only thing that's going to save him right now.
And I want to save him.
Those black marks on his cheek are alive now, squirming each time Ebrellin-i makes a noise.
It's almost as if they're digging into him, clawing at him. I try to ignore it. If I ignore it, I can ignore just how close to Nul I'm bringing myself by drawing closer to Ebrellin-i. I can wrap an arm around him, curl next to him, and ignore what Faun said about Ebrellin-i being a gateway to Nul. I can close my eyes, lean my head against his chest, and listen to the struggling twitch-thump that is his heartbeat. "Shhh." I stroke his cheek. "It's okay. You're on a windbird, Ebrellin-i. Don't you love to fly? You told me that once... in a carriage, while we were on a trip. Remember?" I stroke my fingers through his hair. It's easy to without the crown there... but so strange for it to be absent. I feel better without it there, though... never did like that eye-jewel on the brow of it. Never did like the way it made Ebrellin-i seem taller, seem a little like someone else.
He calmed for just a moment when I spoke, but he's starting to struggle again.
"The bird can feel that." Patrick sounds very nervous. And our coasting does seem a bit more... wobbly. I'll have to do what I can, quickly.
"Ebrellin-i," I scoot upwards, my lips against his ear, "I know you remember me."
And then I do something that can get anyone's attention, and I feel ashamed and at the same time smug that I'm doing it right in front of my brother. I kiss Ebrellin-i's ear, lick it, nibble on it.
"Hey now--" Gerald says, his voice shaky.
"Keep an eye on the horizon around here. There'll probably be sentries. This territory's held by Avians working for--" Patrick's voice cuts off. He chuckles under his breath. "Working for me, I suppose!" He laughs.
Gerald settles further towards the head of the bird, which is really for the best. I have half a hunch that Patrick distracted him on purpose. Funny, that.
I blow into Ebrellin-i's ear. "You remember me," I say. "Right?"
He blinks. In the moment before his eye is fully open, I swear I see a glimpse of real iris and not that awful deadly white stuff. I swear I see a change in him. I can go further, and it'd really help him. It'd really change things, taking a risk like that. I can be someone who fixes people instead of breaking them. That's worth a risk, right? When my family's already suspecting me, when we're who knows how far up in the air? It's good to take risks then.
So I dive.
Ebrellin-i? I'm here.
* * *
It feels like I've jumped off the damn bird. I know I'm holding onto Ebrellin-i's body -- clinging onto him with all my might, in fact -- but I can't tell at all from where I feel like I am. Speaking to him mentally was something I did as a hunch - it's gotten me in his soul, or his thoughts, or... or something. I don't know this stuff. But I know Ebrellin-i -- at least, I think I do.
I'm in a forest, it looks like - a very dark, very scary forest. Something in here...isn't Ebrellin-i. Maybe it's hiding him. This thing that's lunging at me, sharp teeth flashing from foamed muzzle, is not Ebrellin-i. Maybe originally it was him, but that trained attack dog inside of Ebrellin-i's soul is no part of him anymore. No, not a dog... it looks sort of like a dragon. Ebrellin-i's half dragon, though. Did Nul get to the part of him with the dragon heritage, maybe? Either way, it scares me, and I try to keep as far away from it as possible. In these woods it's like I can take ten steps in the time I should have taken one, which would be useful... but sometimes one step takes the amount of time that ten would take. Time's stretching, like I'm in a dream.
I've got to find Ebrellin-i. I try reach for him with my mind. I need to find him, to talk to him. He'll be better when I talk to him. Right now everything's going all awful, and the blackness in here is just closing in more and more. The black dragon is nipping at my heels. I ignore the fear of it and keep calling, I keep reaching...
I hear a pulse. And I see green. It's like there's a light in the distance. Something warm, and certainly something to draw towards... if I can navigate myself through the dark land I'm still in.
It's not hard, though. Once I reach towards that light, it seems to pull me forward. When I call out to Ebrellin-i, the light answers with its own beat - a stronger, more natural heartbeat than I could hear in Ebrellin-i's chest. Then, a fierce tug and a gust of air later, I'm out of the black and into the green.
Here the woods glow with their own light, as if sunlight's streaming through a canopy so thick with leaves that the rays are tinted green. It's very quiet... but I can hear far-off animals stirring as if they've been asleep for a long time.
There's a man lying on the ground. No... a boy. He'll be a man one day, and I suppose then he'll grow his hair out to reach past his heels, and he'll paint his face and hold himself as haughty as can be. Now, he just curls up in the grass and leaves, holding... something. His arms are wrapped too tight around it for me to see. It's as if he's trying to shield it with his body.
I step forward. The underbrush rustles under my foot. Ebrellin-i... or perhaps Ebrelle, yes? Faun said he changed his name when he was older than the boy who's in front of me now. Ebrelle glances up when he hears my approach. He tenses, ready to defend what he has.
His eyes are such a brilliant, beautiful green. They narrow.
He strikes out at me, which doesn't surprise me. I sort of earned it, encroaching on his territory.
I step back from him. Somewhere far behind me, there is some black thing with teeth that has been trained to bite. That dragon isn't Ebrellin-i anymore, but it resides inside him, and I know it's taken control of him before. It's snapped at me before, collared me, chained me, brought me to heel. Ebrelle will push me upon that thing if he thinks I'm a threat. But...
"You brought me here." I step forward again. I don't dominate with my stance - I simply stand. He can knock me over if he really wants to.
He doesn't. He merely crouches on the ground, cradling that which he protects. After a moment I realize that he's not holding back out of some respect for me - he simply doesn't have the strength to stand up or to lash out any further. The last of his energy is being spent protecting whatever it is that he has.
Somewhere in the darkness that lurks out in the woods behind me, something growls.
I try to keep my words soothing and calm. "Ebrelle? Can you speak?"
He looks at me as if another head's sprouted right from my mouth. After a long moment in which I wonder whether he can understand speech at all, he slowly shakes his head. His eyes betray a hint of fear that runs deeper than I've dived.
Learned not to. You staying? You'll get hurt. He sits, then curls himself around what he protects again. I still can't see it. He's making sure I can't.
He doesn't seem to know me. But then... this Ebrelle wouldn't have known me. I wasn't even born yet when Ebrellin-i was this young. Who called me here?
He shudders, then shakes his head. Won't answer.
Please, Ebrelle, I need to go to him--
He'll only hurt you! Ebrelle's eyes betray tears. And you'll die. Inside, and then out. He doesn't want that to happen to anyone else, so why would he call out and make it happen to you? He looks so angry and hurt. I wish I could do something to comfort him, but he's just as feral as Faun is.
He'll hurt me? Ebrellin-i will?
Ebrelle's eyes betray a childish wonder. You don't know anything, do you? Who keeps my soul?
Of course. If Ebrellin-i truly is a gateway to Nul... then part of him must be there. It's the part that's calling to me, and consoling him is the only way he'll stop. I have to go to him now. I'm sorry. Do you know how?
Ebrelle only cries in response, ducking his head down. Unable to stop myself, I reach forward to comfort him. Something pulls me back by the collar of my robe, its hot breath pouring down my neck.
The black thing with the teeth yanks me back into the darkness. I don't struggle. I just let myself be dragged. At the times that my feet or robes snag on a branch or bramble, the dragon snorts, the sound low and long. Once I'm free again, he is silent.
Wait, was I wrong about the dragon? Maybe there still is some part of Ebrellin-i inside of it. Maybe this was what called me here.
Ebrellin-i?
A sharper, longer growl, that of warning. I decide not to press further and let him take me where he will. The trick to working with large animals and surviving is to let them believe they're getting their way - or, when that fails, just let them go ahead and have it.
At some point during our journey it feels like someone's slowly stirring my brains with a finger. Dizziness, perhaps - but it feels worse than just that. I try to keep a grip on myself and don't panic. That's sound advice to myself, because the next thing I see is the Jherent Nul.
I can see him more clearly than before, which I find rather strange, but accept quickly so that I can deal with the situation at hand. His form is mostly black, tinged a bit rusty. He's clad in heavy spiked armor, clawed gauntlets covering his fingers, and a metal guard hiding his face below his eyes. His irises are the same black as his pupils, with a tiny hint of blood tinting them. His hair is long, black and straight. He looks like a Xaillyndesse.
Some part of my mind rails against that, and I can't make it make sense. Surely it makes sense, if they worship him like they do... for him to look like them? But how am I seeing him at all? I thought there was nothing to see! And for that matter, how am I here at all? Did I really manage to travel to Nul through Ebrellin-i? This isn't the throne room, but it's certainly just as spooky as it. The dragon creeps forward. The Jherent Nul pats him like an errant pet.
I'm so frightened, yet I feel calm. Maybe I can't get any more scared. What am I going to do now? He has me. I'm in the worst situation I could possibly be in.
The Jherent Nul waves the beast off, giving me no regard whatsoever. The beast that might have once been part of Ebrellin-i turns and pads off to curl up in a corner. Once he's settled, he releases me. I turn and look at it. The big furred and scaled thing's eyes are closed. It lets out what might be a tiny snore.
I whirl around to face the Jherent Nul. He's walking away, completely ignoring me.
I'm not in trouble?
Well, it seems not, though I'm stuck here in this place with no clue how to get out. Is Ebrellin-i here? At least if I find him, I'll have done what I came here for. I follow the Jherent Nul - there's nowhere else here that I can see to go, and... it looks as if he doesn't know I'm here at all. After a few paces, I can see Ebrellin-i again.
I can see Edward, too. My stomach makes a weird sideways wrench. He looks... old. Old like Stevane always joked he was, even though Edward appeared in his late twenties. His face is lined, his hair is greyed to white in streaks and patches, and he's got a hunch.
No, that's his cringing away from the Jherent Nul, who gives him the same pat that he gave the dragon. Peace. It won't be long, now. I've gathered the part of him that served me. He's nothing left to live for. The Jherent Nul's eyes crinkle, and I suspect he's grinning behind that mouthguard. And he understands simple commands, at least.
Edward nods, though it might actually be a shiver. I keep walking forward. Ebrellin-i might as well be dead, the way he looks spread on his back across that big table. It is the Ebrellin-i that I knew, too - he's the proper age, and he has the peacock-like face-markings. He's still, breathless, pale... but alive. Somehow, alive.
I walk forward, somehow sure that Edward isn't going to see me. I am correct. No one here notices me - except the beast, of course. But that means Ebrellin-i might. And whatever it is that I'm here to do, I know it involves him.
I sit by the altar, take his hand, and wait.
There's the sensation of a moth beating its wings against my ear, and then the tiniest hint of a voice between my ears:
--Lotus? You didn't really come, did you? Ebrellin-i sounds so afraid. I almost feel bad that I'm here. I didn't mean to drag anyone else here. Please leave-- oh no. You can't. Oh no.
Despair wells up from him, but it's not something he's running short on right now, so I don't think anyone but me notices it. The Jherent Nul and Edward don't seem to have even noticed that Ebrellin-i is communicating with me. I came of my own accord. I want to help you.
I can't be helped anymore. I was beyond help before you were born. Still, he sounds pretty resilient for a guy that's so resigned to his fate. I... I wish you hadn't come, but I can't deny that I'm happy to have company, here at the end. I'm sorry.
I hold back a chuckle. It's okay. I've been through worse. That may or may not be a lie. My Trial certainly felt like I was in more danger, though. Father almost cut me in half then.
What now, Master? What command to give him? I want to hurt Edward for suggesting such a thing, for going forward with torturing Ebrellin-i even more, but that's not my place here, not what I'm even here for. I don't know that I could even hurt Edward here if I tried, anyway.
Well, when certain information is imparted, commands aren't necessary. That chuckle again. It sends shivers through me, sets my hair on end, makes me want to leave this place. Why don't you tell him what you just did, Ed'huar-tsche'lina?
Edward flinches and cringes. Please... not so soon. I don't want to--
The strangest thing happens. Edward's words stop in his throat, and fade from my memory a little, as if he'd never spoken them. He flinches again, as if he's been punished - and I suppose he has. How grisly.
Edward takes in a breath, then steels himself. Yes, my King.
I squeeze Ebrellin-i's hand. The twitch that goes through it in reply seems more like a spasm than a conscious effort, but I know he feels me here with him. To be honest, I think I'm afraid of what Edward's about to say - alarm's ringing all through my head, and there's the sense of steeling myself against something, the hunch of ill things to come.
The Poet King died moments ago, Ebre-schtullin'eh. We put him to death.
