The three of us drew some appreciative looks as we rode in. I imagine we cut a set of rather impressive figures, between Gerude's dashing and cheerful good looks, my own dark and handsome features, and the Judge, who was about as tall and, from all accounts, quite a panty-wetter with that long hair and severe expression. Not that I'd know.
It had been a long time since I'd seen Robinstead, and while I could pick out some slight differences, not much had changed. Old Robert was still on his rocker outside the grocery, the boardwalk still had that giant gap where my childhood friend Severen had set the planks on fire with some strange combination of ingredients he had found in a book in the library, and of course Grandma's brothel had a fresh coat of paint on it.
I made sure to take care of my family.
We put up the horses and walked over to Grandma's. I hesitated a split second before opening the door, caught up in remembering the last time I had been here, then pushed it open with a smile.
A couple of the girls were downstairs, even this early in the afternoon. They looked up, blinking in bored curiosity over the oddity of people wandering in before dinnertime. I recognized Mina and Lorrhi, and I saw on their faces the exact moment they recognized me.
"Erynn? Is that really you?" Lorrhi walked around the counter, staring into my face. I grinned down at her, happy that I was finally grinning down at her instead of up.
"Been a while, hasn't it?"
She squealed and threw her arms around me. "Ma'am Lettie! Ma'am Lettie, Erynn's home!"
"What?" I heard Grandma's familiar croak coming from the kitchen, and I immediately teared up. She wandered around the corner, then threw her hands up in the air and waddled even faster at me. "Erynn, m'boy! Lookit yer!"
"Grandma," I choked out, bending over and hugging her.
"Greeshus, boy, yer taller then yer da--" She looked past my shoulder at the Judge and Gerude, who were both standing behind me.
"Oh. Oh my," she said, and I stepped back and looked down at her in shock. Her voice had changed completely... had become younger.
No, it seemed like she was becoming younger, right there in front of me.
I looked back. Gerude's mouth was hanging wide open in shock, but the Judge... he just looked smug. I looked back down at Grandma, who was still... well, she still was a fairly plump woman, but now she was a fairly plump young woman, not much older by my estimation than Jhe Barrera. Her hair, which had always been salt-and-pepper, was a bright coppery red, curling down her back. Her mouth was hanging open, and her eyes, bluer now than I had ever seen them, stared wide back at the Judge.
"Daddy?"
It was the final straw. I had officially gone as insane as the Poets were rumored to be. I was now proving them true, standing here staring at my grandmother, and some strange part of my brain was tripping over the fact that Grandma was hot, and wasn't it a good thing that I had never made moves at Stevane, because apparently that was my great-grandfather grinning back at us, and that made Gerude and Gerald and Stevane my... my... what, grand-uncles?
"Letetcia, dear, do us all a favor and never, ever give Lyric any clues as to how you managed to hide from me for nearly four hundred years?"
Grandma laughed, only it sounded something like a sob as well, and threw herself at the Judge. He caught her and held her, and I thought I might have seen something suspiciously misty about his eyes as well.
I looked at Gerude, and he looked at me.
"I... Gerude, I think I need a drink."
"Yeah. Me too."
---
"Hey, Gerude. Want to go make out somewhere?"
He gave me this utterly horrified look, then laughed. "Yeah, I'm a little off-balance, too. That's just... weird."
He glanced across the table, where my grandmother and the Judge were laughing and talking over each other with increasing volume and cheer. He looked back at me and angled his head at the door. I nodded and stood, and he followed me out. The Judge raised an eyebrow in our direction, and Gerude signed something back.
"What was that?" I asked, after the door had shut behind us.
"Told him we were going to walk around a bit and let them catch up," he said, squinting in the sunlight. He reached back and pulled his hat up, clamping it down firmly on his head. "Erynn? My elder siblings are just weird."
"I know, I know," I sighed. "That's my grandmother. What the blazes."
Gerude snorted, then choked a little. "That's not even the best part, Erynn. Believe me. I've heard stories about the First Batch, and Letitcia was apparently the weirdest of them all."
I blinked. "I know Grandma's odd, Gerude, but somehow I have trouble believing any family containing Stevane can claim anything weirder."
"No, trust me on this." Gerude kicked at the dirt. "Let's find somewhere to drink."
We strolled down the road toward Keirnan's place. He was my second cousin, if I recalled correctly. Gerude didn't seem to be in any actual hurry to get there, so it took a little longer than usual to get there. It was all of three doors down, actually, but Gerude seemed to be taking one step for every ten thoughts.
"It's going to be dark before we get there."
He blinked. "Sorry." He picked up the pace a bit, and a couple of minutes later we finally walked through the door.
As I signaled my... relative somewhere in the family tree, I went ahead with my plan to wring more information out of Gerude. "So, what have you heard about Grandma that's so interesting?"
Gerude, like all Armed, waited until his alcohol was firmly in hand and becoming acquainted with his throat before he actually began saying anything. Like a good portion of the Armed, he attempted to speak and swallow at the same time. I waited out the coughing fit with as much patience as I could muster. Really, no rhythm for storytelling.
"Titty, as my dad calls her," he began, and grinned as he paused to allow my giggling to subside, "is his third child. She is the eldest daughter, and is full sister to our Stevane." He grinned.
"Full sister?"
"Yep."
I paused to absorb this information. I had gathered it was supposed to be important. "Uh, Gerude? Who is their mother, anyway?"
"The Void."
It was my turn to choke on my liquor. Gerude sipped his whiskey and waited for me to collect myself. "You asshole. Really. Who?"
"I wasn't pulling one over you, Erynn." He chuckled and belted down his whiskey. "Tia, for whatever reason, decided that the universe needed a child from her, and thought that Dad would be an excellent co-parent. Fast forward a few hundred years, and I suppose she liked the results so much the first time around that she went back for seconds."
I blinked at him. "Excellent delivery, Gerude. Damn." I slowly applauded, then collapsed against the bartop laughing.
"I need another drink," he chuckled, and signaled Kiernan. "More of that, please," he said.
Kiernan looked at me. "Yeah," I said, and he shrugged.
"Right. Be right there, boys."
I laid my forehead against the bartop. "So," I said, watching the varnish fog from my breath, "you're telling me that not only is the Judge my great-grandfather, but now I have to add Tia to my family archives?"
"Yep."
"Nice." I heard a light scraping sound, but didn't catch on to what it meant until the glass thunked against the side of my head. "Thanks for the warning, Kiernan."
"Boy, you only drank one. Don't tell me one of your kin is such a damned featherweight that one pull is enough to socker you?"
I saluted him with a flourish and a finger, and Gerude snickered. "Brave, making that sign to someone slinging your drinks."
I sat up and looked into the glass. "He probably spit in it already. Might as well earn my contaminated booze."
Gerude choked, then gasped. "You fuck, that went up my nose."
"Yeah, your mom complained about that, too."
Gerude set his glass down with a loud CLONK, then burst out laughing.
I raised my glass and saluted.
"Classy, asshole. Classy."
I took a few large gulps and sighed. "I can't quite get my head around it, Gerude. We're relatives. I suppose this means I have to stop lusting after your skinny ass."
"What?" Gerude frowned at me. "No way. I'm the best ass you've never had, you sparkling fairy."
"...This is just not how I thought this conversation would go."
"No." Gerude tilted his empty glass, then waved it at Kiernan. "You're falling behind, Erynn. Drink up." He set the glass down and grinned at my whatever-relative as he handed over a full one. He took a big swallow, then tilted his cup and raised an eyebrow at it. "Really? You've been checking out my ass?"
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "No, Gerude. You're two tits shy of my type."
"'s a shame."
I looked at him, and he grinned at me. "Gerude? I'm not that drunk."
"Me neither, but it's fun to mess with you."
"Besides. Related."
Gerude chuckled and drained his glass. Damn, I really was going to have to belt it down to catch up. "Oh, Erynn. I don't think you've really considered what all my family history looks like, have you?"
I blinked. "No. Why?"
He turned, facing the bar, and rested his chin on his hands. "I have two words for you, dear friend." I tilted my head, but of all the times for him to develop a sense of dramatic timing... His grin widened as I leaned against the bartop and frowned.
"Spit it out, Gerude."
He laughed at scoring a hit on me. "Jennelcia Akribastes."
I frowned. "What about her?"
He sighed, propping his head up with a fist on his cheek. "Erynn? Who are her parents?"
I finally drained my glass and flagged Kiernan down for another. "Um, I know she's your sister." Another glass appeared by my hand, and I embraced it warmly. "Your dad and Jhe Katherine's."
He nodded, his smile growing a little. I looked at him, and he waved a hand at me.
"What?"
Gerude's smile froze, and he buried his face in the palm of his hand. "Erynn. Who is Jhe Katherine's father?"
"The Jhe o'Radia."
He peeked out from behind his palm. OK, he was expecting this to lead somewhere. I didn't know who the Jhe o'Radia's parents were, though. I know his brother is the Jhe h'Akriba-- Oh.
"Oh dear fuckall he's her uncle."
"Yes, you fucking moron."
I blinked, and realized I had managed to drain my glass while I was thinking. "Uh. Is that sort of thing... normal in your family?"
Gerude choked a bit and laughed. "It, uh... well, kind of."
I blinked at him rather slowly. "You realize that... uh..." Crap. I had lost my train of thought.
"It just works," Gerude said, tossing back the last of his whiskey. "Damn, boy, you're easy drunk."
I drained my glass and slammed it down against the bartop. "Gerude? I wish you were full of shit, because that is some crazy shit right there, and... shit."
"What?"
"Oh, I think Kiernan hates me," I said, and slid toward the floor.
Over the bar, I heard the low chuckle of a particular asshole somewhere distant on my family line.
---
Gerude and I somehow managed to carry each other the long distance back to Grandma's. As we walked up to the door, the extreme hilarity of someone nicknamed Titty running a brothel hit, and I went down on my knees laughing, dragging Gerude with me.
"The shit is wrong with you?"
"Titty... Titty runs a brothel..."
He snorted, and we rolled over on the planks, laughing our asses off.
I heard the door swing open behind my head, and rolled over to take a good look at the boots near my head. They were black boots, scuffed and somewhat plain. Really plain, actually. There was no decoration whatsoever on these boots, although the bottoms of them were hammered on with some rather shiny hobnails. They were scuffed at the edges, but they had been carefully cleaned and polished. I blinked and followed them up a bit, where they ended at mid-calf. Still pretty plain, too. The boots tugged at my memory. I knew these boots. For some reason, I got the impression that my ass knew those boots, too. Some vestigial ache in the ol' buns that didn't come from being in the saddle. I'd have to roll over to inspect those legs any further, though.
That option wasn't very debatable, though. I was drunk enough to know that I was very drunk, but not so drunk that I had forgotten that spinning while drunk was a very bad idea. When you spin at this level of drunk, which is kind of a mid-way to fucking trashed drunk, then the whole world keeps spinning after you've stopped. This creates a really special kind of dizziness that leads to one thing: projectile vomiting. I hated vomiting in general, and projectile vomiting was my least favorite kind. It always felt like I was about to vomit my dick out my own throat when I threw up that hard.
"Oh shit. Hi, Dad," Gerude said, saving me the trouble of actually figuring out how to get off the ground and finish identifying the owner of those nice boots.
"You two look like you've been having some fun," he said, and I was a little worried about the fact that I was too drunk to tell if he was using that threatening tone or the mildly amused but not quite threatening tone.
"Plenty," Gerude said, and from his easy tone I discerned that his father was, in fact, not about to apply boot to my skull. "You should give this place a try. It's..." There was a dull thud as Gerude tried to gesture towards the bar and failed. "...that way," he finished weakly, and his head hit the deck. "Dad?"
"Yes, son?" I recognized the amused tone in his dad's voice. The kind of amused that made little alarm bells start ringing in the back of my head.
"Dad, I can't seem to get off the ground."
"Is that so." Knees appeared in my view, and then a nose, and a lot of curly red hair. Then he looked down at me, and I giggled in spite of the feeling of impending doom. He was upside-down.
"Yes, Dad. The ground is very heavy, too."
"Oh dear, they're wasted." My grandma's oddly young voice drifted out from somewhere. The Void, I thought, and had the oddly pleasant sensation of cold chills and wild laughter racing through me at the same time. Shit fire, my grandma was a butterfly.
The Judge was still staring down at me, and his grin was even wider. There were teeth in it now.
"Hey, Dad?"
He looked over at his son, sparing me for a moment. "Yes, Gerude?"
"Could you... uh... Dad? I have to pee."
I laughed, my eyes tearing up and squeezing shut with the force of my guffaws. I suddenly realized I had to pee, too, and the thought of me and Gerald pissing ourselves right out here on the boardwalk in front of the Judge was just absolutely hilarious. I tried to keep from peeing as I laughed, which of course made me laugh harder, until I was half-laughing, half-whimpering. "Ger," I hiccuped, "I have to pee too, man. Please stop talking about it. I think your dad is going to crap on my head."
The Judge looked down at me, his eyebrows raised. "That's not on my list of things to do tonight, no." He smiled, and I nearly pissed myself from nervousness. "Count yourself lucky."
"Daddy." Grandma chuckled somewhere back in the shadows. "Help me get these two inside."
"I'll get this one," he said, hooking me by the armpits. I squealed as he lifted, the world tilting in the most alarming fashion. It didn't spin, thankfully, but it came pretty damn close. "You pee on me, son, and I will hollow your spine through your eye sockets."
"Brilliant," I said, swallowing back whatever the fuck it was I drank, "terrify me into peeing on you. Great strategy."
He laughed as he carried me inside. "If only you were half that brave sober, son. I might have use for you."
"Too much lace," I sneezed, and the world slid shut.
---
I opened my eyes, then slammed them shut again. Mother of Chaos, my head hurt. I groaned and rubbed my forehead. Judging from the way everything was spinning, I was still pretty drunk, too.
A low moan to my side informed me that Gerude was somewhere nearby. He elbowed me in the chest as he sat up, which was pretty interesting considering I didn't know we were in the same bed.
My eyes shot open. Did we... No, my clothes were still mostly on, and I knew from long experience that I was no good at getting my pants back on when I was wasted. Gerude turned and looked at me, his eyes wide and bloodshot.
"Uh."
"No, man. Look, you're still dressed. Well, mostly."
Gerude lifted the blanket. "Uh," he said again.
"What?"
"I'm not wearing... I mean, I'm kind of bare-assed."
I glanced down, and sure enough, his pale cheeks were cozied right up to the sheets. "HEY," he said, tucking it around himself, his cheeks flushing. "Quit staring at me."
"Well, you do have a cute ass."
"You would think so." He paused, his lips pursing. "You really think so?"
"I'm pretty sure. I mean, I'd..." I paused and blinked. "Huh. I guess I'd consider it. I mean, you are pretty cute for a guy."
Gerude made a soft hmm, and looked away. He leaned over the side of the bed, then yelled as he fell out, pulling the sheets with him. I hissed as the sheet whipped away, for some reason expecting a cold draft, but the air was pretty pleasantly warm in here. I took a deep breath and rolled onto one elbow. "Gerude? You alright down there?"
"Erynn. Erynn, there is a lot of booze down here, buddy. I think I've... oh wow."
I leaned over the side of the bed, and sure enough there was a shelf full of small bottles of all sorts of liquor. "If I had known they stocked drinks up here, too, I might have reconsidered the girls."
Gerude laughed. "What, Grandma doesn't stock boys for you?"
I reached out and tried to whack him on the head, but he ducked smoothly. I got some satisfaction out of seeing him wince, though. "I don't do boys."
"You ever consider it, though?"
I started to think about it, then had something better to think about. "Hand me a bottle, Ger. My head is killing me." He kindly handed up a bottle, which I emptied in a few good swallows. I held out my arm and dropped the bottle over the side of the bed, then buried my face for a few moments in the quilt. "To answer your question, yeah I've considered it. I guess I've just never gone for it." I lifted my head. "Have you?"
"Nah."
"Liar." I pointed a finger at him. "You don't have Lyric for a brother and not consider it at least twice."
He opened a bottle, sniffed it, then threw back. He choked, then laughed. "Yeah, you got me there."
"So, why haven't you?"
"Haven't I what?"
I held up my hands and clumsily stuck my pointer finger through the side of my fist.
"Oh. I don't know." He took another swig, and his head tilted to the side. "I guess I just haven't been interested."
I walked my fingers along the sheet, staring at the drape of the fabric. I glanced up, and Gerude was looking at me with a crooked smile. "You're totally thinking about my ass right now, aren't you."
Honestly, I hadn't, but now I was. He must have seen it on my face, because he laughed. I flushed and looked away, holding out my hand in his direction. "Give me a damned bottle. I don't care what."
He passed something up, and I took a nice swig, then laid my head down against the sheets.
"You know," Gerude said, "maybe we could, I don't know, just try it once."
I looked up at him without moving my head, which meant that my eyes were rather painfully rolled up into my head. "What?"
He held up his hands, one of them still holding an almost-empty bottle. "Hey, I'm just thinking we could give it a try. We're friends and all, and nobody would have to know if we didn't want them to, right?"
I lifted my head, my eyebrows raised. "Okay. That sounds like it could work."
I lifted my head, my eyebrows raised. "Okay. That sounds like it could work."
"Right." Gerude looked at me, then looked at his bottle, then his empty hand. "So. How does this work?"
"Well, uh..." I shifted my hips. The mattress had suddenly become rather stimulating. "We're going to have to kind of puzzle this out as we go. It's not like I'm an expert or anything. Shit, you're the one with the gay brother. What do you think we should do?"
"Well." Gerude stood up, and I snorted laughter into the bed. His shirt was tenting out in the front, and it just looked rather funny with his hand on his hip and his other hand holding the bottle out, as if saluting the bed. "First, we get naked, right?"
"Right." I managed to sit up on the second try. Wiggling out of my clothes took a little longer. I glanced up at Gerude, and he was concentrating rather hard on trying to get the buttons of his shirt undone. "Uh, Ger?"
"Yeah?" He looked up, pausing.
"Try putting the bottle down."
"Oh. Right." He sat the bottle down on top of the minibar, and made a bit better progress with his buttons. I sat back against the wall for support while he struggled out of his sleeves, and then he climbed onto the bed, and just looked at me, on his hands and knees.
I raised an eyebrow. "Now what?"
He lowered his bottom, still leaning forward, and looked towards the ceiling. He must have been spinning back towards drunk, because he nearly fell sideways as soon as his head tilted.
My head was actually starting to do that neat fast-motion-tunnel thing.
"Well," he said, "I'm not exactly sure, but I think, um. Shit, which one of us is gonna be on the bottom?"
I frowned. "Maybe we should take turns?"
"Sounds good," he said, and took a good look at my equipment. "Shit, Erynn, you're a tall fucker everywhere, aren't you?"
I blushed and shrugged, grinning. "I haven't gotten any complaints."
"I bet not." He took a deep breath. "Well, here it goes."
"Sexy," I started to say, but only got as far as "se" before his mouth came down on me.
I will say this. That man, straight as he swears he is, can give some mean head. I will also say that I should probably find some way of rewarding the girl who taught him what really feels good, because he was doing all the right stuff to me.
Like that little thing where he curled his tongue and flicked it along the underside of my head. My eyes rolled back into my head the first time he did that. The second time, he backed it up with a firm stroke that ended with a caress around my balls, and that made my head go back in spite of all the drunk no-nos I had ever learned, and even though my head cracked painfully against the wall, I didn't get even the slightest bit sick. The third time, he followed it by taking me deep into his mouth, then dragging it back up along my shaft, his tongue caressing in circles along the underside of my cock, and damn it felt so good that he dragged a groan out of me.
He worked me for quite a while. I was beginning to both lose all sense of coherency and begin to wonder if I could get in touch with his brother when he gave me a final lick, then sat up and rubbed his jaw.
"Damn. Your turn, man. I think my face is cramping."
I nodded, and we switched positions. I got an eyeful of him in turn, and looked up at him. "I'd heard rumors, Ger. For once they seem to be true." He grinned, and I added, "Is it true you take after your dad?"
"What? Shit, like I'd know, you... what?"
"Nevermind," I said, and dove in before he could say anything else.
I opted for a more straightforward approach, opting for a more vigorous sucking than the sensual tease Gerald had gone for. It seemed to be working just fine. He was certainly making enough of those happy noises. I pressed forward, choking myself a little on his cock, and he moaned and grabbed my hair. Since that seemed to get such good reception, I tried it again, adding in some twisting with the tip of my tongue. He moaned again and pulled my hair. I smiled, and decided to try something else. I slid my hand along his cock, getting it fairly moistened, then did the thing where I choked myself on him again, only this time I slid my hand under him and along the crack of his ass. He yanked my hair, his hips coming off the bed, as my finger stroked and pressed against his opening.
"Shit, that feels really good," he gasped.
I sat back, stroking him with one hand, and myself with the other. "Roll over."
"Right." He turned and got on is knees, grabbing the headboard. I thought for a moment, then frowned.
"I... we don't have any lube."
"What?" He looked over his shoulder. "Isn't there something else we could try?"
"Well," I said, my mind trying to race, "I could use spit."
He turned a little further, looking at me with both eyes. "You want to spit. In my asshole."
I shrugged. "It works in the stories."
He blinked, then shrugged. "Okay, then. Let's give that a shot." He turned again and spread his legs a bit wider.
I have to admit, the view looked pretty good.
It seemed a bit gauche to just lean over and hock a wad into his rear, so I did the gentlemanly thing and kind of licked a gob into the palm of my hand. I smeared it on myself, but it didn't quite seem like it would be enough. I figured that girls get pretty moist, so his butt should probably be at least close to that wet. I sighed and hoped I had enough spit, then drooled another puddle into my hand and wiped it into his crack. He snorted when my hand first moved against him, then he tilted his hips back against my hand on the second stroke. I tested him with a finger, and he contracted pretty tight. Still not wet enough.
I leaned forward and dropped more spit on my finger as quietly as I could. I wasn't about to stick that finger in my mouth, after all. I knew where it had been.
This time, I stroked in circles, gently increasing the pressure until he relaxed and my finger slipped in. I let go of myself and reached between his legs, stroking him while I eased my finger in and out. He began rocking against me, groaning. "Damn," he gasped, "that's pretty good."
"Ready for me to... you know?"
"Yeah, I think so."
I let go of his cock and grabbed mine, using my other hand to guide him against me. He hissed a bit when he felt the head of my cock prod him, then gave a little yell when I pushed all the way in.
"Wait, stop." He pulled off and laughed weakly. "That... yeah, that didn't feel too great. Shit, man, that hurt."
"More spit?"
He shook his head, then grabbed the headboard for support. "No, uh, maybe you're just too big for me or something."
I frowned, but it seemed reasonable enough. "Well, you give it a shot, then."
He looked down. "Er. I don't... don't worry about me. I think that kind of discouraged things a little?"
"What?" He turned around and pointed. "Oh." I giggled a little into my hand, then wrinkled my nose. That hand kind of smelled like butt.
"Look," he said, "why don't I just go down on you a bit more, and then we can just fucking go to sleep or something and when we wake up you can go down on me."
"Right."
I sat back and gave him plenty of access. He bent over, then sniffed. He leaned back and sat up, giving me the weirdest look. "Erynn? Your cock smells like ass."
"Wait, what?" I bent over, but couldn't quite get close enough to smell. "Aw, hell. I stuck it in your butt, didn't I."
"Well, yeah, kind of. Yeah." He grimaced. "I'm not putting that in my mouth."
I shook my head, then flopped back as the room tilted. "No worries, man. My finker kind of gee... my finger kind of reeks, too. I didn't want to stick that in my mouth, either."
He laughed, then flopped face-down on the bed. "Yeah, I need to sleep now." His eyes closed and his mouth dropped open.
"Me too." He started snoring, and I glanced over at his naked backside.
Oh well. Maybe next time.
---
I cracked open one eye, then the other, then lifted my head and looked around.
Right. I was in one of Grandma's rooms. There was someone in my bed, which means I had some fun last n--
Red hair? Grandma doesn't have any girls with red hai--
Oh.
I lowered my head back down very gently and tried to think my way through the next step. If I even had a next step. There was always the possibility, after all, that Gerude would simply wake up and shoot my dick off.
No, wait, he didn't have any pants. No pants, no guns. I mouthed a quick prayer of thanks to his dad for taking care of that little problem.
Oh, shit. His dad.
No, wait, the Judge put us in this room together in the first place. Either he fully expected something like this to happen, or he totally didn't expect something like this to happen and therefore wouldn't be looking for it. Either way, I was safe.
Gerude groaned and rolled over. His eyes opened, and he stared at me for one long moment, giving me plenty of time to contemplate the fact that I was lying next to someone who was very much trained to kill in as many ways as possible, many of them bare-handed, and I had no idea what he could possibly thinking at this moment. Worse. I had some idea.
"Erynn?"
I swallowed. "Yeah?"
"My ass hurts."
"Uh." I tried to think of something to say, but the harder I tried to come up with a good option, the worse those options became. "I'm sorry?"
He stared at me, blinking slowly. "We are never going to speak of this to anyone, are we."
"Who would I tell?"
He did hit me then, smacking me upside my head with a snort. "You're a fucking Poet, Erynn. You'd tell everyone."
I couldn't really defend myself against the truth, so I went for the next best thing. "Hey, so, about that offer--"
"No."
I pouted. I couldn't really help it. Things might have been a bit hazy in my head, but I clearly remembered that. "Are you sure?"
Gerude laughed and rolled onto his back. "I'm sure, man. You'll have to go find your boy fun somewhere else. I think I've had enough." He looked out the corner of his eye at me. "You are going to do it again, aren't you?"
"Probably." I sat up and rubbed my hair. "That was pretty damn fun for me, and now that I've gotten some idea of what kinds of fun guys can be..." I laughed, blushing a little. "Well, I kind of want more."
"Suit yourself." Gerald sat up as well, carefully keeping the sheet positioned around his lower bits. "I'll stick to girls."
"Aww, why limit yourself?" I laughed, then stood up.
"I don't see it as limiting," he said with a grin, sliding over to the side of the bed and standing. "I figure I'll pick up all the girls you aren't while you're off--"
We both stared down at the mess on the bed.
"Uh, Erynn?" he said, his eyes wide. "When did we... I mean, that's blood, and... my butt hurts and all, but the hell?"
I bent over the sheets, sniffed, and recoiled. "Ger, that's not blood, man."
"Oh fuck. Really?" We looked at each other, then at the sheets. "I can't tell whose it is," he finally said.
"Me neither. It's... all over the place."
We stood there for an uncomfortable moment, and then I had one of the greatest ideas I had ever come up with in the history of me. "There's two showers a couple of doors down."
"Right."
We couldn't have left that room any faster had we teleported. Thankfully, nobody else was out and about in the hallways as we scurried down to the bathing area. There were already towels laid out for guests to use. We didn't have any clean clothes to change in to, but I was used to walking around the place bare-assed.
Gerude followed my lead, taking careful little steps as he moved around. I tried not to stare, but even sober I had developed a healthy appreciation for his physique. He didn't seem to return the warm regard, but I was pleased to discover that I was genuinely fine with that. After all, I had some idea about who would, once we returned home.
It was a shame he was uninterested in exploring things a bit further, though. I was more than a little jealous of all the water getting to explore that tight body of his.
I finished with a blast of cold water before getting out. It was a little necessary.
The Judge met us as we were walking out of the shower, wordlessly handing us fresh clothing. He seemed to smile just a little when he looked at me, but I wrote it off as my own paranoia. "I took the liberty of having your clothing laundered," he said, leaning against the wall as we dressed.
"Thank you, sir," I said, carefully avoiding actually looking at him.
He raised an eyebrow at me and smiled. The kind of smile with teeth. "You seem nervous. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"
I froze, one leg mid-air, halfway through pulling my pants on. "S..Sir? Uh, no, I don't think so?"
"That sounded like a question."
I managed to convince my hands to keep putting on my clothes. Might as well be dressed for my funeral. I gave one last shot at staying alive. "I... Forgive me, Jhe h'Akribastes, but a newborn babe would be carefully screening their own mind for the slightest trespass if you asked that question."
He laughed and stood straight. "Truth, Poet. Very beautifully worded, as well." He looked at me, his gold eyes practically sparking. "Don't think I've failed to appreciate how nicely you dodged the question." He held up a hand. "Not that I'm requiring an actual answer from you. The truth has a way of speaking for itself."
Somehow, that wasn't very comforting. I thought about the sheets and prayed nobody mentioned them to Grandma.
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