He can do whatever we do, of course. Despite the fact that he's all of three feet tall, and most of that barely-there lankiness and knocked knees and that silly little issue with switching his Rs and Ls. His hair sticks up in the back, too, like someone set it on fire and then tried to glue bits of it back into place.
Lyric's tough, though, don't let his skinny frame fool you. Why, if you knock him down, he'll bounce right back up and cry his ass off as he sets new land speed records for Daddy's office!
Nah, I kid, I kid. He's not too bad. He's only wet himself a few times at the sight of Daddy being irritable.
OK, so I pick on him a bit. No matter. I mean, really, this is Lyric we're talking about. We're not even sure if he's a brother. It's like Lute got all of the toughness, and Lyric was what was left over (and there wasn't much left; Lute like outweighs him by at least a cord!). We've tried teaching him to lift weights and exercise, and he's been really diligent about it, but goodness. He hasn't gained any muscle tone at all, and oh how he whines when he gets sweaty. It's... it's... Look. I love my brother, but he... why is this song even about him? This is just... What, is this Opposite Day? Couldn't we have let this song be about, oh... Jax? Jax is more macho. Granted, not by much, but the irony would have still been there! But Lyric? Lyric is as macho as a hand-watercolored silk scarf.
OK, Gerald informs me that silk scarves were used in assassinations. That's pretty hardcore.
Gerude Akribastes, Lyric Akribastes, Lute Akribastes, Gerald Akribastes
Macho Man - The Village People